Just let go

Have you ever felt trapped? Like your life is a room with boring white walls and the walls are simply closing in?

Now here is where rebellion comes in. We fight against all rules and regulations and, in my case, you stay out later than usual and behave like I never usually do, even if it just for one night.

I do not consider myself a "party animal", but those who know me know I'm slightly insane at times. I can dance on a whim, I can rock my body when nobody's looking and I can drive guys crazy if I really try. But this isn't the me everyone knows. It's a part of me I prefer to keep locked away.

I have tasted the freedom of letting go, being insane, not caring what anyone thinks and then falling back to earth: thinking what the???

Sometimes I wish I could just let go, be both, two sides of the same coin. But I am scared. I do not like the other me that much. I don't know her. The shy me can only be care free for so long. And it's not an act. It's not fake. I just can't be both.

Animal me takes a back seat to proper me with doses of crazy now and again. Perhaps it's better this way.